Has imposter syndrome been creeping in lately, been questioning yourself…👇
… Feeling like you’re a fraud?
… Like everyone can do what you do?
… Having self-doubts and low self-esteem?
Most likely you are dealing with what is called Imposter Syndrome. A psychological pattern in which one doubts one’s accomplishments and has a persistent internalised fear of being exposed as a “fraud” (Wikipedia).
Here are some telltale signs you are wrestling with imposter syndrome and ways to overcome it …
While perfectionism may challenge you to do your best, it can be detrimental when you think of failure as the end-all-be-all. You set excessively high goals for yourself and is too afraid to make mistakes.
Hence, you’re never satisfied which leads to self-inflicted stress and anxiety. And when your goal isn’t achieved or met, self-doubt creeps in. Even if it does, it’s never gratifying because you believe you could have done better.
Learn to take your mistakes in stride and see them as part of the process. There will never be a perfect time nor a 100% flawless output. Take it as an opportunity to experiment and learn.
Set reasonable expectations and stop blaming your own limitations for mistakes and failures. Failures are part of life and we all deal with it. I would even dare say fail FAST because your mistakes will help you succeed faster.
Rather than focusing on your inadequacies, put the limelight on your authenticity and zone of genius. What you do doesn’t have to be perfect, it just has to be authentic. You are human, it’s OK to be imperfect at any time.
Sometimes even if you are competent, you can feel out of your depth. You might find gaps from your skills that make you think you are not good enough and worry people will discover you’re not as good as they originally thought.
You feel like you don’t have enough credentials to show off as proof of your abilities and what you can do to be qualified as a coach. You question your success. This kind of mindset can compromise your ability to do what you love and develop.
Learn to nurture your inner validation and acknowledge your own worth. We all have golden nuggets that we can share with others. Our own unique life and business experiences, struggles and challenges, practices and engagements are all enough qualifications to be the coach that you are. Your peculiar perspective comes from that distinct journey only you have travelled.
👉 STOP COMPARING YOURSELF
Comparisonitis – heard of that before? It’s when you check out your peers and end up wondering, why is she selling out and not me. With everything online, it’s easier to notice what others are doing and get into that space of comparison.
In Steven Pressfield’s book “The War of Art”, our hierarchy orientation forges a tendency for us to compare ourselves against others. Our society operates on a sort of chain-of-command structure.
We stand in line according to height, order of appearance or last name. It seems like we are pigeon-holed to some measure of adequacy and efficacy that we do the same with our skills and abilities. We assign ourselves a spot in a hierarchy of increasing value and stature.
Measuring ourselves against others can be helpful if it is to rev up motivation to improve our own life. However, if it leaves you feeling chronically inferior and depressed, then comparisons can be harmful. Instead of comparing, ask yourself what is that sets you apart. #youdoyou
Your greatest protection from falling into the comparisonitis and despair trap or pulling yourself from it is to maintain and develop a stable sense of self. Cultivate your identity and self-esteem, nourish your relationships with people who believe and see the real you and keep attuned to your truest beliefs.
👉 INVEST IN A MENTOR
It can be challenging to experience all these on your own. Sometimes you fail to recognise how far you’ve become and grown.
Every coach needs a coach at different levels of your business. Perhaps, it is time to invest in a mentor who can help put you in a better perspective, help reinforce positive changes and to motivate you along the journey.
More than the support and encouragement are an objective point of view. You may find their stories, struggles and experiences are helpful in dealing with your own battle.
Investing in a mentor can help you make a realistic assessment of your abilities, take time to appreciate the fruits of your hard work and reframe the way you think about your achievements. Surround yourself with people who have been there.
We all have our own space of distinction – we perform on our own stage, dance on our own theater and lead in our own story. Every person has some territory of excellence. Acknowledge your skill in your specific circle of fulfilment. Own your greatness and choose to bring your unique, precious space of excellence to the world.
What is the ONE THING that you will do to step up and be your truest self?
P.S: I’ve open up spots for my Super 60 Strategy Session. A 60 minutes mini 1:1 coaching session, where we will focus on key areas that you need help with for more clarity and to get you closer to your goals. Book Now: https://calendly.com/kellytan/60min?month=2020-05